Muammar Al Khadafi

Brief moment of panic yesterday.


I went to put on my favorite pair of jeans and had a hard time getting the button to close.
This should probably be expected but came as a total surprise nonetheless.

The reason that this should be expected is because I have been eating like a sow during this holiday season. The friendly, local sandwich vendors have dropped their prices so as to reel in the yuletide shoppers.

By my count, I have eaten no less than three quarters of a dozen Whopper Jrs this month. I also tend to order from the bar when the fancy strikes me.

(Ordering from the bar is always good because I don't have to tip AND it gets delivered to me with all the hot, fresh goodness that only bar food provides....)

I should probably not keep up this practice because people have been known to drop dead due to these kinds of Charles-Laughton-as-Henry-The-Eighth eating habits.

I tried to think of how many Big Macs I have eaten in my entire lifetime......by my count,.... if I have eaten,... say,.... two a month on average,.....that would be,....from the time I was eight,....800 Big Macs....give or take a few.....(Ok, ok,...give a few,....so let's say 900)

900 Big Macs since the time I was eight and I'm still alive, right? No worse for wear....

Why do they say McDonald's is so bad for you then? They have done us a great favor by standing guard and replenishing our famished nation. We owe McDonald's a huge debt of gratitude, don't we?

I saw that movie, "Supersize Me" and I, for one, happen to think that the propaganda that is bein' bandied about by nay-sayers and militant lesbian vegans is nothing but the bunk. You can't begin to believe that sort of stuff because that is exactly what those pinko commies want you to believe.

They had that whole scene where the guy was havin' a hard time walkin' up stairs and his girlfriend was complaining about their sex life and my answer to that is,....well, maybe because you're such a militant lesbian vegan,....maybe that's why he don't have any drive. Maybe if you made him a meatloaf every once in a while, maybe then he would get the hots on for you. Maybe it's because he was so happy that he was eating McDonald's every day instead of the tofu that you made for him...and he knew that you were just waiting for his experiment to come to an end....so you could feed him bulgar wheat again.....maybe that's why he was so bummed out and draggin' ass.....

Didn't think about that one did you?

My militant vegan makes me a meatloaf every once in a while and, lemme tell you,...THAT'S HOT!

It's all meatful dense joyness with the hint of Tabasco and Lipton onion soup mix with all-mashied up potatoes with brown gravy and maybe some asparagus with Hollandaise sauce and chocolate cake for dessert. With a candy bar perhaps. And some type of Little Debbie snack confectionary cake

I know that my girlish frame is fading to the wayside. No one needs to tell me this,....but,....if you think about it, I AM a Teamster and the pre-requisite for bein' a Teamster is the "Teamster Gut".....plus, I can blame it on all the medicine that I'm on.....medicine does that, you know. It can cause your weight to fluctuate and there's nothing you can do about it,....except exercise,....but,.... realistically, kids....we all know that's not gonna happen.....because when you exercise, you sweat....and the thought of sweating to a Teamster....is like the thought of a bath to a cat.

The only exercise I get is on Saturday mornings when I’m dancin' to Ike and Tina Turner's rendition of "Proud Mary"....while makin' a pot of chili or a big ol' joyful pot roast.

I guess there is no point that I'm tryin' to make with this except that the human body is very resilient.

I'm still wonderfully and gloriously alive.....for now.

Anyway,…