Muammar Al Khadafi

Like you didn’t know this was coming…

OF COURSE you knew it was coming!

Yep, Burb has finalized the A-List selection, hired the caterer, the servants and the barmen. She managed to find a

 

Limoges Crystal delivery company and the ice sculptures and fountains are on order…naturally!

Yep, tonight’s the night and Burb is ready for B3’s First Virtual Cocktail Party!!!

Whoo! Hoo!

I know, I know, you’re wondering, “Where’s MY invitation?!”

I could say that it must have got lost in the mail…but I’d be lying…you were NOT invited!

Yes. Burb is RUDE, but she has an A-List and by God, if YOU are not on it, it’s not her fault, right?

(Wrong…but work with me here!)

Tonight’s gala is for the crème de la crème, the Movers and Shakers, the “It” people, and some people who were “It” but lost “It” and now just want to sidle up to the people who are now “It”, if only for an evening…

The lamps are lit,

there is a Tower of Champagne at the ready,

the Beluga is on ice

and MsBurb is in a lovely little number, size 7 to be exact (Hey, this is MY virtual party, I'll fit into whatever god damned size dress I want!) that WILL have guests stopping in their tracks!

And finally, yes, finally, the guests arrive, one by one…

Oh! Here is Fidel! “Hi Fidel!” as I welcome him into the drawing room…

It seems he has struck up a conversation with John F. Kennedy (Yeah, I can invite DEAD people, it’s MY virtual party already!) and they seem to be neck deep in some sort of discussion…”Bay of Pigs”…”George Bush”…”Trafficante”…I can’t catch the rest…

And there is Sean Penn! He seems to be sidling up to Richard Nixon. I can’t imagine why? Sean’s veins seem to be popping…are you supposed to be that red in the face just after one glass of champagne, I wonder?

Dean and Frank are by the fireplace with Oprah Winfrey. The guys are laughin’…but the Big “O” doesn't seem to be laughin’ back???

I rush to the library as I here a scuffle and muted yelling…

Oh, it’s only Richard Burton and Liz Taylor…how the heck did they get in? They really are more trouble than they’re worth…sigh…

I saunter over to the canapé bar and who do I see my Imelda Marcos and Marilyn Monroe…and Marilyn keeps looking down at her own shoes and the back up at Imelda, then back down at her shoes again…hmmmmm….

Oh geez, someone help me get Orson Wells away from William Randolph Hearst ‘cause you KNOW that ain’t gonna end well! “I’ll teach ya to play with my Rosebud, you no good S.O.B.!” yells William…

A threesome haven’t even managed to leave the foyer as yet…Ann Coulter, David Duke and Sami Davis Jr. ….No one is yelling, heck no one is saying anything…but if looks could kill…well, okay, Sami is REALLY smiling but you get a few drinks into Sami and everybody is that guy’s friend!

You just KNEW Ava Gardner would be at my first soiree, ya know, but who knew she’d have anything in common with Sarah Palin; although, Sarah seems to be doing all the talking (Hey, how come my hounds are howling outside at this hour???!) and Ava seems to be doing all the drinking, but I’m sure they’re both good at what they do!

Maria Callas I see arrived and is lounging in the Sitting Room with Roseanne Barr…something about the "Star Spangled Banner", pitch and tone…I can’t hear the conversation very well but Maria is really laughing at Roseanne’s jokes…woulda thunk it???

Natalie Wood FINALLY showed up! You know, she’s notoriously late for everything, but hey, she brought an escort. What could she possibly have in common with Mark Spitz, I wonder? Whatever it is, both are flailing their arms in the air and Natalie keeps saying, “I KNEW I shoulda taken swimming lessons!”…

Well…

The hour is growing old and MsBurb hasn’t even had her second glass of Moet & Chandon yet, so I thank-you for peeping into my party…

I can promise there WILL be others.

I can’t promise they’ll include you.

I’m imperious that way…