Muammar Al Khadafi

 
Hey.What's goin' on?

When it comes to my job, I thought that I had seen it all.....but no. This was a classic.

The other day, when I was rushin' around to go to work, I hastily packed a lunch.

It was three baby back ribs from Aldi's. They were leftover from the weekend. They were pretty good ribs considering that I only paid 6 bucks for an entire slab of 'em. They were pre-cooked and bathed in BBQ sauce and were just the thing to hit the spot at 8 pm on a autumn evening.

I had made 5 ribs the night before, for my midnight meal, and these three were the leftovers from that snack.

Anyway,..as I was searching the cupboards to find a container, I ran into a small snag. I couldn't put it in my pink tupperware bowl because the ribs themselves were too large to fit in this particular round container. I moved on to a disposable Ziploc container that I had bought at Aldi's... one of those clear things with the blue lid....this proved to be too large and would take up too much real estate in my backpack.

I then found a smaller Ziploc container and this proved to be too small as well.

(But the ribs would "go" into the container....with a little force...so this was to be the container that I would use.)

I shoved the ribs into it, got the lid on it and threw it in my backpack and headed off to work.

I went into work, put my lunch into the fridge and set about my day.

At 8 pm, (which is our union sanctioned lunchbreak) I went to get the ribs and, as I was walkin' over to the microwave, I couldn't help but notice that the container seemed "light".

That was weird.

I opened the container and there were only two ribs in there.

I stood there lookin' at it, for a minute or two,...because my brain was tryin' to process what had taken place between the hours of 3:30 and 8....Somebody actually stole one rib.

Paul, the guy I eat my lunch with, came over to stare into my container with me.

I told him that somebody actually ate one of the ribs out of the container. He started laughing and, when I didn't start laughing with him, he began to believe that I was serious.

I said,

"Dude,...I put three bones in this thing at three o'clock and now there's two".

He looked at the container, which was all bent and and kinda twisted from me tryin' to get the three bones in there, and he even deduced that it looked like it, at some point, held somethin' more than the two bones that were currently in there.We stood there lookin' at each other as to try an make sense of the situation.

Is it possible that I was mistaken?.... No!

I transferred these three bones into three different containers before I left the house! There was no question that there were three bones in there!

And now there was two.

Now, since the thought that someone pawed over my lunch was just too un-appetizing for me to comprehend, I took the remaining bones and threw them out and sat and pouted while Paul ate his baloney and ketchup sandwich.

Not much was said during our lunch break,... but the underlyin' issue was still there.

Who,....would actually go into someone else's lunch,...and eat one spare-rib?

I knew it wasn't Paul because,...well,...it's Paul.

Paul doesn't even go in the fridge cause it's a dark and scary place. I don't like to go in the fridge because it's a dark and scary place,...but,.... since meat has this "thing" about bein' refrigerated,... I put my lunch in there.

I really don't think this was a personal affront because my name wasn't on the container.....and no one saw me put it in there.

I think this was just someone who was hungry and decided to rummage around in the fridge to see what there was to gnosh.

But isn't that kinda scary?

How many times have I put somethin' in there that I DIDN'T know was pawed over before lunchtime. If I brought spaghetti, how would I know that someone didn't stand there eatin' it with his or her own bare hands?

Is this an isolated incident or is this somethin' that is runnin' rampant?

Ya can't tell management about somethin' like this either....they would just look at you like you were crazy....or laugh,...or dismiss it out of hand because they actually KNOW who did it and are workin' hard tryin' to protect the guilty party..... tryin' to protect "one of their own", as it were.

Paul speculated that it might be the president of the company.

I dismissed it,.....because the president of the company,... on that particular day,... was wearin' a powder blue shirt and no one in their right mind would eat BBQ spareribs while wearin' a powder blue shirt. Too much room for error.

He agreed.

No, I think this was someone..."on the floor"...as it were. Someone who knew the inner-machinations of the dietary habits of the people and their environs. Someone who has access to the fridge and could go in there unfettered. Someone who could pretend like they are lookin' for his or her own lunch,... while,... in reality,....actually stand there pawin' over and eatin' other people's food.

This is a guy who would blend into the background. A guy who would say "what's 'sup" as you walked by...a guy who can strike and disappear.

I walked around the plant lookin' in the various garbage cans,...placed hither and yon... to see if I could find a bone perched majestically on a mound a refuse,....to no avail.

This kinda put a damper on the rest of the night,....for Paul, as well. He went over to the bulletin board and pulled down a memo from the president. It was about some stolen material and what they're gonna do when they get their hands on the guilty party.

He xeroxed it and, on the copy, crossed out the part where it says "stolen copper braiding" and wrote in "stolen rib-bone".

Even though I laughed,...I was still kind depressed about it.

I feel so violated....

Anyway,...So I made this video below. I think it's really cool and demonstrates to the most casual observer that I do, indeed, have way too much time on my hands. I played the piano, I did the dialogue and I sat for hours on end, pointin' and clickin', puttin' all the pictures on it. The least you could do is spend two minutes of your life watchin' it. If you don't like it, I'll gladly refund your two minutes. Press the little play button and turn on your speakers,...it ain't that hard.

Burb liked it,...and that's all that matters, ain't it?


Anyway,....

Editor's Note: Hey Girls, am I right? Doesn't Dan have THE most sexy voice you've ever heard, well, next to Dennis Wilson's, of course?!...sigh...