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Sunday, November 22, 2009
"Findin' your way....you come back wantin' me,
I'm gonna stay, lovin' you endlessly.
Open up your eyes, then you realize,
Here I stand with my
Everlasting love...."
Rachel Sweet/Rex Smith
Everlasting Love
Goin' and gettin' an oil change is one of those things that tends to be really painful. It's like gettin new tires.
It's a void of time. A temporal blackout.
The reason it's so painful is because the mechanics at these establishments are trained to inform you about the pathetic state of your automobile in an attempt to convince you, that if you don't buy a bottle of gas additive...this very minute,....your car may very well break down the minute you pull it away from the garage doors.
(Of course, that additive is only $12.99 a bottle...)
The good thing about these establishments is that they give your car the entire 'winterizing' once over. They check your tire pressure, top off the blue juice that washes your windshield, check your wipers, spray WD40 on all the car door hinges and they tell you if any of your light bulbs are burned are out.
If one of your bulbs is actually out, they will even replace it for a mere $9.99,....which, considering the bulb is only worth 39 cents....and it takes them all of 15 seconds to replace,...it then becomes bad business for them and good for my wallet....because I will not have them replace it and I will go and get the bulb from the local NAPA autoparts store.....where,....chances are,...if my buddy Ron is working, he will just give it to me for free.
I usually do both vehicles on the same day or within a few of each other.
It's always so folksy, that when you pull up, they walk up to your car door and call you by your first name.
At first I thought they were just really good at names there. That each customer is so appreciated and valued that the entire staff makes it a point to remember your name and what is always wrong with your car.
After about the 10th time, I was finally able to put two and two together and realize that they have a computer in there with your license plate number and they call up the tag when they see you at the back door,...even before you pull the car into the garage!
Clever.
I always feel ashamed when going to this place. It's like I brace myself for the onslaught of ridicule, mixed with a helpin' of concern, when they start goin' over the vehicle in their 90 point check.
Yes, I know my air filter needs to be replaced.
Yes, I know my serpentine belt has some cracks in it.
Yes, I know my license plate bulb is burned out,....no, wait a minute,...I didn't know that.
No, I don't want you to replace it at $9.99,....Yes, I know that if it's dark out, I could get pulled over.
They even give you an itemized list of the things that are wrong with your car and list the totals of what it will cost to fix. Usually, it's somewhere in the $900 region.
This is all done before the actual oil change occurs.
Then, of course, comes the choice of oil you prefer.
I always go to the bottom of the list....on which, right above the cheapest choice, is the "green" choice of Eco-guard type oil,....for a mere two dollars more,....which I always get because I want to avoid the guilt trip about using regular ol' oil instead of the environmentally sound choice that is available to me.
That always begs the question about where oil really comes from. Given 10 seconds to think about it, I realize, after I made the Eco-Choice decision, that oil actually comes from the ground and should have no problem goin' back there.
(D'oh!)
They always get me on that one, man....
Time spent in a garage getting your oil changed is one of those times where you come to the sobering realization that you are wasting your life.
Once your choices are made and the work begins, the silence begins to grow deafening.
All you hear is metallic clanks and plastic snaps as you sit lookin' blankly at the hood of your car....that is in the raised position.
Nothin' more is said. Just silence.
I began to wonder about whatever happened to Rachel Sweet.
I wondered if she was still 17,...like she was in 1977.
She was really cute,...in that bug's ear sort of way....but what a set of pipes. I have never heard a vocal sustain like that in the song, "Who Does Lisa Like". It musta went on for seven or eight bars minimum.
Pure vocal power, man.
When I think about vocal power, Rachel always comes to mind....pipes, man. Pipes.
She was the embodiment of Stiff......her and Nick Lowe. Pure punk for Now People....with free-base talent.
I thought about that song, "Everlasting Love".
It had that "Edge Of Seventeen" guitar sound. I could almost hear it....
.....chugachugachugachugachugachugachuga......
The melody and words started playin' in my head....and I could almost envision gettin' out of the car and dancin' down the street.....in a West Side Story sort of way.
As if a street ballet could, in an igna-second, explode to life and everyone would pull out a guitar and go spinnin' in circles in a synchronized manner,....across the table tops of McDonald's and on the counters in CVS....until it spilled out into the middle of the street.....whereupon there would be 300 people moving in exact precision down the middle of the avenue......dancin' on car roofs,...
......chugachugachugachugachugachugachugachugachuga......
"Hey, Dan?....Dan"?
"Huh"?
"Looks like you gotta bit of a problem here,...I think you have a squirrel livin' in your intake..."
The mechanic then proceeded to pull three handfuls of acorns out from underneath my hood.
Yes.
Very well, then....
Time well spent.
Anyway,....
I'm gonna stay, lovin' you endlessly.
Open up your eyes, then you realize,
Here I stand with my
Everlasting love...."
Rachel Sweet/Rex Smith
Everlasting Love
Goin' and gettin' an oil change is one of those things that tends to be really painful. It's like gettin new tires.
The reason it's so painful is because the mechanics at these establishments are trained to inform you about the pathetic state of your automobile in an attempt to convince you, that if you don't buy a bottle of gas additive...this very minute,....your car may very well break down the minute you pull it away from the garage doors.
(Of course, that additive is only $12.99 a bottle...)
The good thing about these establishments is that they give your car the entire 'winterizing' once over. They check your tire pressure, top off the blue juice that washes your windshield, check your wipers, spray WD40 on all the car door hinges and they tell you if any of your light bulbs are burned are out.
If one of your bulbs is actually out, they will even replace it for a mere $9.99,....which, considering the bulb is only worth 39 cents....and it takes them all of 15 seconds to replace,...it then becomes bad business for them and good for my wallet....because I will not have them replace it and I will go and get the bulb from the local NAPA autoparts store.....where,....chances are,...if my buddy Ron is working, he will just give it to me for free.
I usually do both vehicles on the same day or within a few of each other.
It's always so folksy, that when you pull up, they walk up to your car door and call you by your first name.
At first I thought they were just really good at names there. That each customer is so appreciated and valued that the entire staff makes it a point to remember your name and what is always wrong with your car.
After about the 10th time, I was finally able to put two and two together and realize that they have a computer in there with your license plate number and they call up the tag when they see you at the back door,...even before you pull the car into the garage!
Clever.
I always feel ashamed when going to this place. It's like I brace myself for the onslaught of ridicule, mixed with a helpin' of concern, when they start goin' over the vehicle in their 90 point check.
Yes, I know my air filter needs to be replaced.
Yes, I know my serpentine belt has some cracks in it.
Yes, I know my license plate bulb is burned out,....no, wait a minute,...I didn't know that.
No, I don't want you to replace it at $9.99,....Yes, I know that if it's dark out, I could get pulled over.
They even give you an itemized list of the things that are wrong with your car and list the totals of what it will cost to fix. Usually, it's somewhere in the $900 region.
This is all done before the actual oil change occurs.
Then, of course, comes the choice of oil you prefer.
I always go to the bottom of the list....on which, right above the cheapest choice, is the "green" choice of Eco-guard type oil,....for a mere two dollars more,....which I always get because I want to avoid the guilt trip about using regular ol' oil instead of the environmentally sound choice that is available to me.
That always begs the question about where oil really comes from. Given 10 seconds to think about it, I realize, after I made the Eco-Choice decision, that oil actually comes from the ground and should have no problem goin' back there.
(D'oh!)
They always get me on that one, man....
Time spent in a garage getting your oil changed is one of those times where you come to the sobering realization that you are wasting your life.
Once your choices are made and the work begins, the silence begins to grow deafening.
All you hear is metallic clanks and plastic snaps as you sit lookin' blankly at the hood of your car....that is in the raised position.
Nothin' more is said. Just silence.
I began to wonder about whatever happened to Rachel Sweet.
I wondered if she was still 17,...like she was in 1977.
She was really cute,...in that bug's ear sort of way....but what a set of pipes. I have never heard a vocal sustain like that in the song, "Who Does Lisa Like". It musta went on for seven or eight bars minimum.
Pure vocal power, man.
When I think about vocal power, Rachel always comes to mind....pipes, man. Pipes.
She was the embodiment of Stiff......her and Nick Lowe. Pure punk for Now People....with free-base talent.
I thought about that song, "Everlasting Love".
It had that "Edge Of Seventeen" guitar sound. I could almost hear it....
.....chugachugachugachugachugachugachuga......
The melody and words started playin' in my head....and I could almost envision gettin' out of the car and dancin' down the street.....in a West Side Story sort of way.
As if a street ballet could, in an igna-second, explode to life and everyone would pull out a guitar and go spinnin' in circles in a synchronized manner,....across the table tops of McDonald's and on the counters in CVS....until it spilled out into the middle of the street.....whereupon there would be 300 people moving in exact precision down the middle of the avenue......dancin' on car roofs,...
......chugachugachugachugachugachugachugachugachuga......
"Hey, Dan?....Dan"?
"Huh"?
"Looks like you gotta bit of a problem here,...I think you have a squirrel livin' in your intake..."
The mechanic then proceeded to pull three handfuls of acorns out from underneath my hood.
Yes.
Very well, then....
Time well spent.
Anyway,....
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