Muammar Al Khadafi

Another insightful post from Renee, my fave mommy blogger and the editrix of Womanist Musings.    
Last week, I wrote about a 14 year old girl named Amber Cole, who became an internet sensation, after a video of her performing oral sex on a boy went viral.There can be no doubt that Cole's life will never be the same and we know that once something goes online, there is no way to stop it from circulating.  Every time someone views this video, Cole will be re-victimized. Thankfully, the boys involved in this incident have been arrested.

Amber only consented to performing oral sex to attempt to win back the affections of her ex-boyfriend, she most certainly did not consent to have the act filmed and released on the internet.  The boys used Cole. This tells me that Amber has a self esteem problem, and the last thing that you do when someone already has a negative self view, is to shame them into oblivion.

It would be one thing if Amber had consented within the framework of a reciprocal loving relationship, but that is not the case.  I don't really find her behaviour all that surprising, when society invests so much time teaching young Black girls that they are without value and not deserving of love.  When many heard about this incident or viewed the video, though it constituted child pornography, all they saw was a fast ass little girl and not a reflection of the way in which Black womanhood has been devalued.  Since the arrest of the boys involved, some have even gone as far as to claim that Amber should be charged with something herself, as though public shaming has not been more than enough punishment.  Amber even had to change her school, and that is only the first example of how this video will follow her through life.    

When I wrote about this last week, a commenter brought up the issue of lack of coverage of the incident in the feminist sphere. I know that as bloggers, we have limited resources and we have to make careful consideration over what we bring attention to, but the glaring silence about Amber Cole is painful.  Black women have spoken up in droves to claim #teamambercole, as a method of rejecting the slut shaming and the cyber bullying involved in this incident. The silence of our supposed White female activist allies speaks loudly.

Black women have spoken out repeatedly about the various ways in which our stories differ from that of White women and this often reduced to us just being angry.  When incidents like this happen and the response from White women is silence, it simply stands as further evidence that when they advocate for women's issues, what they really mean anything that effects them and not us.  If women truly mattered, the defense of Amber Cole, would not be left solely for Black women to undertake.

Amber Cole matters because all Black women have at some point been subject to such vile exploitation.
It may not manifest in the same fashion that it did with Cole, but it is an inevitability.  To be Black and female is to be constantly under attack.  Despite the fact that Black men must negotiate racism, when it comes to gender, there is no doubt that they exist with privilege.  Despite the fact that White women must negotiate sexism in our patriarchal world, their racial privilege means that they will never experience it the way that we do, and that in and of itself is privilege - a privilege born of White supremacy.  There is not one group that completely understands the plight of the Black female and this is borne out by their lack of confrontation or defense of us when we are in need. 

It doesn't matter whether the issue is Amber Cole or Michelle Obama, no one has a vested interest in truly being an ally to us, because that requires confronting privilege.  White women's organizing groups make a point of arguing against sexism, even in cases where the woman they are defending is absolutely vile.  There is never any shortage of defense for people like Sarah Palin, who is clearly anti-woman because attacking sexism aimed at her is considered necessary to fight patriarchy.  This same concept however, is not applicable to Black women, even when they are the victims of clear exploitation.

I am firmly #teamambercole because if Black women don't stand beside her and declare that cyber bullying is absolutely wrong, and that slut shaming a young girl for failing to make a wise decision is indefensible, then no one will. The only people we can reliably count on is each other. I have been told many times since I started Womanist Musings that my approach is divisive, and that I cause harm to the delicate fabric of female solidarity. If being angry at being neglected, when we are so clearly being attacked is considered divisive, then you don't really have a vested interest in women.  If you can ignore what happened to Amber Cole, and think it is okay to go about your day without defending a 14 year old girl who was used, but then defend someone like Palin, who has done nothing but harm women, then what are you doing isn't really about advocating on behalf women, but advocating on behalf of White female empowerment.

It seems to that White women want equality with White men, and far too many have decided that the best way to make that happen is to either stand directly on our shoulders, or to hand us over lock stock and barrel to patriarchy as a replacement. You're silence offers Black women up to be abused, exploited and actively oppressed in your staid.  We shall not suffer so that you can walk with freedom and we shall not be silent so that your voices and your lives constitute the entirety of the female experience. #teamambercole matters and until you can see why, we have very little to talk about.

Once again, it's my honor and privilege to bow in the direction of the Bay Area and remind you TransGriot readers to wish one of our trailblazing iconic transwomen a happy birthday.

She transitioned in the 1950s, was a Stonewall Vet, a member of the Mattachine Society and now executive director of TJIP, but Miss Major not only continues to be an inspiration to us as one of our icons, she continues to fight for the human rights of all transpeople.  

And from time to time she sends some love the TransGriot's way

Know that I have much love and respect for you Miss Major.  Without you and the other trailblazing transwomen of African descent we would have no community now much less any connection to our proud history.  

You are one of my leadership role models in terms of telling it like it T-I-S is and it's a joy to not only hear you speak and read some interview you done, but be around you and spend quality time in your presence.  

Much love to you Miss Major on this day.  Keep speaking your truth, have a blessed day, and may you have many more.

She's back!.  Diamond Stylz in an interesting video tells you about her relationship with God.

One of the things that has been foremost on my mind ever since I transitioned in 1994 and I was painfully aware of was the negative images of African descended transwomen.  We were already working from a visibility and  knowledge deficit not only in my own community, but the rainbow community as well.

One of the things I resolved to do was change that negative perception of us, and I was determined to role model that finer specimen of womanhood that Sharon Davis talked about in her 1987 book.

While it has taken some time, my African descended transsisters are finally making headway in that department.  We're beginning to get the message out that there are African American transwomen who are aiming higher in terms of how we project ourselves to the world as our chocolate trans history continues to be revealed to us.

Our elder stateswomen are stepping out of the shadows, telling their stories and providing us with the guidance and mentoring that we've needed for a long time to ground us.  As we received that grounding combined with our spirituality, the transwomen of my generation are in a better position to pick up that leadership torch, mentor our younger counterparts and learn lessons from our younglings as well.  

As we fight to overcome the shame, guilt and self esteem issues that plague us at times, we must work to debunk the negative PR images we've been saddled with and relentlessly focus on how we accentuate our positive aspects to the world.   We also must be cognizant of the negative perceptions of us inside the African-American community and work to overcome them.

We transwomen desire true sisterhood with our cis sisters, but not in a devalued junior partner sense.  That sisterhood must be based on respect for our humanity.  We share a common history and cultural bond, and the sooner you realize that the sooner we can get to work building mutually beneficial relationships that benefit both parties. 

We find ourselves in the Black trans community slowly but surely building sisterhood and community that will serve us well in the future.  However, we must still keep reaching out to those transwomen who haven't gotten with the program and who haven't clued in to the fact that this is a new decade requiring a new attitude and a new paradigm in terms of being an African descended transwoman.  

As we own our power, that positive attitude and desire to aim higher as African descended transwomen is taking hold in our ranks.  It demands that we not only represent ourselves to the best of our abilities, but step up to the challenge of being compliments to Black womanhood and not considered detriments to it.

I am gratified to see some of my young transsisters who are part of our most information laden and tech savvy generation already role modeling in their own lives what I'm expressing in this post, and it's not too late for the rest of us to aim higher and make adjustments in our own lives where they are necessary.

So let's aim higher Black transwomen.  Let's become more concerned about how we present ourselves to the world.  We need to work to be judged by the best we produce, not the worst in addition to working diligently to shatter myths and destroy stereotypes about us..  

Let's not only be better sisters to each other, but work tirelessly to build sisterhood in our ranks and across the Diaspora.  Trans younglings, respect and value your trans elders and the wisdom they have to pass on to you, and at the same time we trans elders need to open our hearts and minds and listen to what you have to say. 

Lets not ever forget the transsisters we tragically lost along the way as we get to this pivotal moment in our history as African descended transpeople.

Lucy Craft Laney said in 1880 that "Black women are the regenerative force to uplift the race."

It's past time for Black transwomen to aim higher and not only be the regenerative force to uplift ourselves and the trans community, but our Black BLG/SGL one, the Black community, our nations we inhabit across the Diaspora and the world.

TransGriot Note: women in the photos are Janet Mock, Cheryl Courtney-Evans and Tona Brown