Muammar Al Khadafi

You've really got to hand it to Dave Cameron, he comes up with some ideas that have you checking the date just to make sure it isn't April Fools Day.

A happiness index. What a great idea, let's find out what makes people in Britain happy, and how happy they are with things.

After months of planning and surveys, so far researchers have managed to discover that people think friends, family, good health, and job satisfaction are important to peoples happiness. Who would have thought it?

The findings have so impressed Dave Cameron that we're now to have an annual happiness survey - at the cost of £2million a year. Some bureaucrats might well be happy at having £2m of our money to spend, but the rest of us have little to smile about.

Austerity measures in Britain, cutbacks to just about everything possible - other than foreign aid of course - but heh, none of that matters, there's always money for pet projects and inane surveys that everyone, other than the politicians, knew the answer to already.

We've news for you Dave, and it hasn't cost £2million to work this out, in fact so far the budgetary costs have been two cups of tea and a couple of hobnobs.

Britain and the British people are not happy, what on earth have we got to be happy about at the moment?

Soaring foreign aid bills, mass immigration and colonisation, austerity measures, rubbish left un-collected, the threat of terrorism, a few wars on the go, criminals laughing at the law, bank - and country - bailouts, the costly and meddling EU, a ruined economy, a lame duck coalition government. Need we go on, we can if you like?

No, we're not happy, not happy at all. We're not happy with all of the above, and we're most distinctly not happy with the politicians, ConDem and Labour alike, who have to shoulder the blame for the mess our country is in.

Oh, and we're most definitely not happy with £2million of our money being wasted on an idiotic survey when we are having to watch every service upon which we rely being slashed to the bone due to budget cuts.

Happiness? You're 'aving a laff Dave, and the joke is on us.